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Eulogy for a Theme

They changed the Q theme song.

That’s okay, I guess. To all things there is a season.

Still, I will miss it. I was rather fond of it.

I liked it because it was a good piece of music. It got your attention. It had good posts. It finished with a bang. It made for a good bed at the end of the show. You could cut it up into little bits and make short, punchy little themes out of it. It wasn’t just a good theme: it was a good bunch of themes.

It was recorded by Luke Doucet and Chris Murphy (of Sloan) at (almost) the last minute three days before Q first aired. I had no idea they were doing it. I had been badgering the Executive Producer for weeks to come up with a theme package but I didn’t think he was listening. I wasn’t invited to the recording session and was stunned when the raw tracks were handed to me Friday afternoon. I was expected to mix the entire theme package over the weekend for the show’s debut Monday. Except I was working all weekend and didn’t have a chance to get to it until 7pm Sunday night. I was already fried before I even began mixing on ProTools in Studio SFX 3. It took me three hours to mix it. It speaks to how well the song was recorded and conceived that it came together as well as it did. It had little to do with anything I did to it.

In fact, I hadn’t mixed it properly. I had mixed it complete with lead guitars, leaving no room for voice-overs. I flipped MP3 versions to Jian Ghomeshi and the Executive producer before I left Sunday night, and when I came into work the next morning the Exec informed me that I had to remix it, leaving room for Jian’s intro. It was a classic “slap yourself on the forehead” moment. As I’ve written elsewhere, I didn’t think we had time to pull it off before going to air, but the Exec thought we did, and he was right.

I’ve always wondered what Luke Doucet and Chris Murphy thought of the mix. Luke was on the show later when I was still working on Q but I didn’t ask him. Maybe I didn’t really want to know. It doesn’t matter. It seems to have done its job. Long after leaving the show I would hear it on the radio and feel good that my little contribution to popular culture was still being heard. I figured it would last as long as the show lasted. But then… well, let’s not speak of that.

A few months after launching the show I convinced the Exec to spend a bit of money on an additional theme package. I thought it would be a good idea to have more music (based on the original music) to draw from. So we recorded a bunch more music with someone else, someone quite talented and accomplished, and I mixed those as well, but we never did use them. They just didn’t have the same magic. No, Luke and Chris had nailed it right out of the gate, and the truth was we didn’t need anything else.

A lot of people think the original theme sounds a lot like Spanish Bombs by the Clash. They’re right. I don’t know how Luke and Chris wrote the theme, but I strongly suspect Jian played Spanish Bombs for them before they started, because a loop of the opening bars of that song is what we used for a test pilot of Q that never aired:

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I don’t think this fact devalues the theme at all. It’s sufficiently different and let’s face it: all art is created on the shoulders of giants.

Anyway, I’m sorry to see the original theme go. It has taken a small part of me with it. Maybe I’m too sentimental — heck, I’m still mourning the loss of the original As It Happens theme song (Curried Soul by Moe Koffman).

Here’s the original Q Theme song:

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And here’s Luke Doucet himself teaching how to play it:

Shiner

black eyeTook the bus home tonight.

In downtown Whitby a young woman got on. I noticed her right away because she had a big black eye. An enormous shiner. It was her left eye. She stood so that few in the bus could see it. But I was pretty close to her and I saw it. Along with the tears in her eyes.

It looked to me as though somebody had taken a shot at her and gotten her good. It was pretty fresh and it was pretty big. Right away I assumed a guy had done it. Boyfriend or husband. There I was, jumping to conclusions. But my gut told me I had the truth of it.

There’s been a lot of talk about violence against women lately. And that’s a good thing. Let’s get it out in the open. Shame the men responsible. Compel the rest of us to do what we can to stop it. Which is what, exactly?

That was the question that came to my mind as I sat there on the bus looking up at this poor young woman with the shiner. What could I do? What should I do? Sit there and exude sympathy for her? What if I had it all wrong? What if she just slipped and fell or ran into a door?

About a minute from my stop I got up and approached her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said. “Thanks for asking. Well, trying to be okay.”

I felt like I was really going out on a limb. “If somebody did this to you, you should report them.”

“I just don’t want to go through all the bullshit,” she said. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have gone back. I knew I shouldn’t go back and yet I did.”

So she didn’t fall or hit a door. I was appalled that she felt it was her fault. It struck me as almost cliche that she felt it was her fault. How could being punched in the face be her fault? How could she think that?

I know there are lots of variables here. I made lots of assumptions. Maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe she started it. Maybe she attacked him with a knife. Maybe it wasn’t a him at all but a her. Maybe she was lying to me. Maybe a whole lot of stuff.

But I’m pretty sure a guy punched her in the face and I’m pretty sure she didn’t deserve it.

I didn’t have a whole lot of time to think what to say.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I told her. “If somebody did this to you they should be held accountable.”

I don’t remember what she said. It was time to get off the bus, so I did.

Writing this feels a little self-serving. Yay me for standing up and saying something. I’m sorry if it comes off that way. It was just unthinkable not to say something to her after the events of the last few weeks. I’m sure that had I run into a month ago I would have wondered what her story was and not said anything.

Did talking to her do any good? Will she take pictures of the black eye (and any other injuries) and report the incident to the police? I doubt it.

Did I make her feel any better? Probably not much.

But I hope I accomplished at least that much.

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and the Truth? Not So Much

QHaving once worked on the CBC Radio show Q with Jian Ghomeshi I have been following the events of the past couple of weeks with a great deal of (morbid) curiosity. I feel terrible for the women involved. I also feel awful for the staff of Q, as well as for the CBC itself. I haven’t felt comfortable commenting on the affair much publicly because I still work for the CBC and I wouldn’t want anything I say to be misconstrued as anything resembling an official position; everything I write here is strictly my own opinion.

That being said, I would like to comment on one aspect of the story that I haven’t seen remarked upon anywhere else. I will not be talking about the specific allegations against Ghomeshi, which are overwhelming and in any case will ultimately be decided in a court of law. I’ll be talking about peripheral elements of that story that have got me thinking about the reliability of what we read and hear in the media.

During the last couple of weeks I’ve read most of the articles published about the Ghomeshi affair. Usually when I read news articles I’m reading about stories I don’t have anything to do with personally. I don’t know the people involved or much about the subject matter. I’m at the mercy of the journalist publishing the piece. I have to take their word for it that what they’re publishing is true. Maybe some sources are named that lend the article extra credibility. Maybe the newspaper has a sterling reputation, and readers are inclined to think heck, this is in the Globe and Mail. Therefore, it must be true. As such, my default has been to believe what I read in the newspapers.

This despite my father’s advice when I was a kid that I should believe nothing of what I hear and only half of what I see. I’ve always thought that was a pretty good rule-of-thumb (not that I’ve been able to stick to it). A few years ago when a friend told me one story about Jian Ghomeshi’s despicable behaviour toward women (the now infamous “hate *uck” incident) I was appalled but not inclined to take it at face value. It was a rumour. Hearsay. Having worked with Jian, I did not want to believe that he was that sort of person. My eight month working relationship with Jian had been punctuated by two episodes that could be called confrontations (and several positive interactions, I am compelled in the interest of truth and balance to add) but overall our relationship had been fairly neutral. I decided that there was probably something to my friend’s story—where there’s smoke there’s fire—but beyond that I didn’t give it much thought. I didn’t think it really mattered because by this time I was in a different role and didn’t have anything to do with Jian anymore, other than saying hi to him in an elevator now and then.

Two weeks ago the big story about Ghomeshi broke and suddenly the newspapers were filled with articles about people I knew. Not only that, every now and then they would refer to events I was a part of. It was fascinating to read those bits, and on one particular occasion I was reminded of my father’s advice: believe only half of what you see.

There was an article on Friday October 31st in the Globe and Mail written by James Bradshaw and Greg McArther. The article is called The Story of Q. That in itself is interesting because it’s the title of a speech I gave to Ryerson Radio and Television Arts audio students in 2008 about the creation of the show Q. I published the speech on my blog shortly afterward, where it’s still visible (I’m not suggesting the Globe got the title of their article from my blog post; I just thought it was interesting).

In the article, the authors state the following:

“When Q launched as the new afternoon arts program in the spring of 2007, it had a core group of young and ambitious producers, almost all of them in their 20s and 30s.”

Nine of us created Q. I don’t know everyone’s exact age, but I do know that at least two, and possibly as many as four, were in their forties. Jian himself turned forty within months of our debut, in June 2007, so that’s three (and possibly five) of the creators in their forties by June, and of those in their thirties, only one was in his early thirties. So I’m not really sure that you can accurately report that “almost all of them were in their 20s and 30s.” At best it leaves an inaccurate impression, and at worst it’s factually wrong. (I readily admit that we were all ambitious and at the very least felt young.)

The authors go on to say:

“Mr. Ghomeshi had a very specific idea of what Q was going to be, and it was not typical CBC. The aim was to land big-name guests, and not to adhere to the usual CBC mandate: promoting Canadian content coast-to-coast.”

I would suggest that this is also misleading. Although these two sentences don’t state it explicitly, they suggest that Ghomeshi’s ideas took precedence over the ideas of the rest of the producers present, and this was simply not the case. We all had equal input into the conception of the show. I can’t comment on what the show evolved into, because I wasn’t there later on, but in the beginning we all contributed equally, and if we all thought an idea had merit, we adopted it for Q.

It also suggests that Ghomeshi came into the planning sessions with preconceived ideas about the nature of Q, and maybe he did, but I don’t remember him imposing his ideas on any of us in any untoward way. The planning sessions were expertly facilitated and in the very beginning we were remarkably cohesive in our thinking about what the show should be. Really all any of us knew as we started discussing it was that the show was going to be an arts and culture show with Jian as the host. Everything else was up for debate. We even debated what arts and culture meant (e.g., did culture include sports, and if so, under what circumstance?) We did agree early on that landing big-name guests was a good idea, but not to the exclusion of Canadian content. We didn’t care what nationality the big name guest might be: Canadian, American, Martian, whatever. The point was that the show itself was by its very nature Canadian (i.e., we were Canadian, operating out of the CBC) and the content we would produce would be for Canadians (and whoever else chose to consume it).

More from the same article:

“A couple of veteran producers who objected ran up against Mr. Ghomeshi’s star power; they were weeded out. The five that stuck around…”

Etc Etc.

People left, but were they weeded out? I don’t know. Conversations perhaps happened that I wasn’t a part of. Certainly there was a bit of musical chairs but you get that everywhere. The line that really got me was, “The five that stuck around…”

I had to stop and think when I read that. There were two producers that left before we even started to create the show but I don’t think they were weeded out; I’m pretty sure they left of their own accord. And only one of them could have been considered a veteran producer. Ultimately nine of us remained to create Q, one of which was Jian, so that leaves eight, not five.

Maybe the authors were talking about after the show had been created. After the show debuted one producer left for a job in print. After a while the executive producer left as well, leaving… six, not five. Maybe I wasn’t counted because I left myself after eight months, but it certainly wasn’t because I was weeded out. I left due to a promotion; it had nothing to do with any tension with Ghomeshi.

I’m making mountains out of molehills here. The distinctions I’m pointing out are pretty minor, significant to nobody other than me, probably. Still, they have changed the way that I will consume news in the future. Especially when viewed in conjunction with other articles (and recently published books) about the CBC that contain, at least to these eyes, additional (and arguably more important) factual errors or at best misapprehensions about the internal goings on at the CBC. I’m referring to another article in the Globe and Mail that I just cannot take at face value, one published Friday October 10th by David Shoalts called Hockey Night in Canada: How CBC Lost it All, and yet another one in the Globe by Patrick Lagacè published Thursday Nov 6 called “Enabler to a Media Hatchet Job.”

Read all this stuff with a major grain of salt, folks. Unless you were actually there, participating in these events, you do not, cannot, know the whole truth.

DNTO

I’m being featured on CBC Radio One’s DNTO this Saturday Nov 1, 2014 sometime between three o’clock and three thirty (at least, I think that’s the slot). The piece is produced by Rosie Fernandez. You all know Rosie, don’t you? She’s the one with a wine named after her. And poetry written about her. And she’s really nice too.

Here’s how DNTO describes the piece:

After a night of fun with a babysitter, Joe Mahoney’s young twins, Erin and Keira, were way too riled up to listen to dad. So Joe tried to take control of situation… but only ended up making things worse.

To put it another way, I’ll be telling the entire country via national radio what a terrible parent I can be.

It Begins…

My publishing Journey (graphic courtesy of Addie.Zierman.com)

My publishing Journey (graphic courtesy of Addie.Zierman.com)

All right, I’ve finished the novel. Now what?

First step, seek representation. I know in this day and age you can self-publish but I don’t want to do that. I’ve spent so much time getting the writing portion of it right that I would prefer to do the rest right as well. And I’m in no hurry. I will take my time querying agents and publishers and if I’m lucky, perhaps I’ll find one. I will do so with no real trepidation. I’ve long since come to terms with the reality of the publishing world. There may not be a place for my novel out there. But if there is, I will find it. Slowly, painstakingly.

I was talking to my nephew last night. Not the same one as in the novel (I just made that one up…the one I was talking to last night I’m pretty sure I didn’t make up). Anyway, my nephew loves writing as much as I do, if not more. (He stayed up ’til eight this morning writing.) I was trying to express an idea to him. The idea of savouring every part of the writing process. If you write, and don’t sell what you write, you might feel like you’ve wasted your time. I will not feel that way. Every minute I spend writing, even now, writing this blog post, I enjoy. I know not everyone feels that way, but I do. I’m not saying it’s not hard work. Sometimes it’s excruciating. But it’s always my favourite part of the day. (Well, right up there with spending time with my girls, and eating lunch. I like those times a lot too.)

My nephew was afraid that I was telling him to “settle.” He says people are always trying to get him to settle. I understood right away what he was talking about. He thought I was trying to tell him that he probably won’t be successful, so he should be happy with the process itself, and settle for the satisfaction that brings. But that wasn’t what I was suggesting at all. You should absolutely go for the brass ring, which I intend to do, and which I would expect him to do. I will do my utmost to get my novel out there. Whatever it takes. But I will also completely enjoy every part of the process, from the conception to the writing to the selling process.

Years ago the inevitable rejections I’m about to receive would have bothered me. No longer. Now it’s just a part of the process. Just business. The trick is to keep the book on the market, while writing the next one.

Am I going about this properly? Don’t know.

I expect I’ll learn a lot as I go along.

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