Category: Radio Drama (Page 2 of 3)

A.E. van Vogt (1912-2000)

April 13, 2020 / / 0 Comments

“…others write about the future…van Vogt writes from the future…”

Unknown, Mid-Twentieth century

 

A. E. van Vogt

Ah, it’s the missed opportunities that bug me most. Here’s another one.

I pitched the following to my friend and colleague Bill Lane, master dramatist, who joined forces with me to pitch it to the radio drama department. In this age of podcasting, I believe it remains a solid, valid pitch:

It’s hard to make a living writing fiction in this country.  It’s even harder to do it writing science fiction. Manitoba native Alfred Etan van Vogt did so and became one of the most respected SF writers of his day, on a par with Isaac Asimov and Robert Heinlein. His work remains enormously popular in the U.K., France, Brazil and Sweden, and yet few Canadians have ever heard of him.  We are lousy at celebrating our own.

And this is a Canadian whose work should be celebrated.  His work profoundly influenced the entire field of speculative fiction.  He once successfully sued the makers of the movie Alien for $50,000 US for ripping off his work. And without Van Vogt and his tales of the Space Beagle, there would have been no Star Trek. 

With typical Canadian modesty, he once described himself as “a bright but simple fellow from Canada.”  Others hold him in higher esteem.  He possesses, according to Charles Platt: “…a compelling presence, an intensity, a slightly mad gleam in his eye, and when he writes he comes up with eerie powerful journeys into symbolic depths of the psyche. When you open one of his novel you open the subconscious. He writes dreams.”

van Vogt… was not hard and cold and unemotional, in the manner of Clement, Asimov and Heinlein. He could balance his cubic light years and the paraphernalia of super science with moments of tenderness and pure loony joy.

Brian W. Aldiss

…van Vogt had…nothing less than the ability to deliver (a) total alienness within (b) a hugely panoramic background that (c) seemingly lacked reason and yet came together to (d) end by making total if terrifying sense.

Barry N. malzberg

Let’s wield what influence we possess to increase the Canadian public’s awareness of one of our own, a giant in his field, whose work deserves to be celebrated.

Slan

After many years of creating well regarded but relatively unlucrative short fiction, van Vogt turned his attention to the full-length novel.  His first, and by some accounts his most famous, was Slan.  Written while Vogt was living in Ottawa, Slan recounts the maturation of a mutant with telepathic powers and enhanced intelligence in a world hostile to his kind.

(It) was a paralleling of Ernest Thomson Seton‘s The Biography of a Grizzly: the pattern of Grizzly was: his mother is killed at the beginning, and the cub is on his own. He doesn’t find an old lady to help him, but he manages to find a place where he can hide for his first year or so. By then he is the equivalent of Jommy at nine — stronger than all the lesser animals of the forest; but he’d better stay away from full-grown black bears, etc. Finally, he comes to what Seton called in his heading: “The Days of His Strength.” He is a full-grown grizzly bear, king of the forest and mountains. For the most part I didn’t need parallels like that, but that one struck me as being interesting, and I used it automatically.

A.E. Van Vogt on his work Slan

Although a fun story with plenty of action, Slan is permeated with themes of fear, discrimination and alienation.  Eminently suitable for adaptation to radio, the opportunities for creative, exciting sound design abound.   

“Yes, I said ´mob´. That´s all people are these days. A mob, a beast we´ve helped build up with our propaganda. They´re afraid, mortally afraid for their babies, and we haven´t got a scientist who can think objectively on the matter. In fact, we haven´t got a scientist worthy of the name. What incentive is there for a human being to spend a lifetime in research when in his mind is the deadening knowledge that all the discoveries he can hope to make have long since been perfected by the slans? That they´re waiting out there somewhere in secret caves or written out on paper, ready for the day when the slans make their next attempt to take over the world?”

Excerpt from A.E. Van Vogt’s Slan

City on the Edge of Forever

April 12, 2020 / / 4 Comments
Photo from Memory Alpha

Once upon a time I tried to make a radio play version of the Star Trek episode City on the Edge of Forever, by science fiction writer Harlan Ellison. The Powers That Be at CBC Radio at the time were in favour of the idea. The Business Rights people contacted Harlan and attempted to negotiate with him. I can’t quite recall how it came about, but I wound up calling him.

I’d been a big fan of his work ever since reading his short story I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, which blew my mind (I actually wrote a version it for radio, since lost to time). I don’t think I even knew then that he’d written City on the Edge of Forever. Much later I discovered that he is considered by many to be, shall we say, problematic. Anyway, being a fan at the time, I was tickled at the opportunity to talk to him. We had a short conversation which focussed mostly on how much the rights to City on the Edge of Forever would cost. I informed him that the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation was a public broadcaster and we’d pay what we could. Needless to say, it wasn’t enough for Harlan, so the project never happened.

If you’re wondering how we could ever even have conceived such a thing, here’s my original pitch, which lays it all out. The thing is, as far as I know, it all stills hold true today. You could not produce a version of Gene Roddenberry’s City on the Edge of Forever, but you COULD produce a version of Harlan Ellison’s. If you really wanted to, and if you had enough money to purchase the rights. And maybe changed the characters’ names.

The City on the Edge of Forever Pitch

There was a time when if you were a Star Trek fan then you were a member of a relatively small club.  This is no longer the case.  Now, just about everyone is familiar with Star Trek – it’s a cultural phenomenon. 

Arguably the best Star Trek episode ever made – in any of the ubiquitous franchise’s many incarnations – is City on the Edge of Forever.  City on the Edge of Forever features the original and most beloved characters in the Star Trek pantheon: Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, “Bones” McCoy, and so on.  The story is simple and poignant: Kirk travels back in time to 1930’s New York to prevent a shipmate from altering time.  There, he falls in love, but to fulfill his mission, he must allow the woman he has fallen in love with to die.

The episode spawned a famous feud between the episode’s original writer, Harlan Ellison, and Star Trek’s creator, Gene Roddenberry.  Citing cost overruns and other difficulties, Roddenberry and his staff (Gene L. Coon and D.C. Fontana, mainly) completely rewrote Ellison’s version of the episode before shooting it.  The two versions are quite a bit different, yet both have demonstrable merit.  Roddenberry’s went on to win a Hugo; Ellison’s won the Writer’s Guild of America’s Award for Most Outstanding Teleplay.  Just about everyone has seen Roddenberry’s version of City on the Edge of Forever — Ellison’s version has never been produced for film, televison or radio.

Harlan Ellison owns the rights to his original, award-winning version of the most famous Star Trek episode ever to air.  Paramount Studios owns the rights to the Star Trek franchise; they do not own the rights to Harlan’s script. What this means is that CBC Radio can produce a radio play version of City on the Edge of Forever simply by changing the names of the characters. 

The free publicity for CBC Radio likely to be generated by mounting a radio version of Ellison’s City on the Edge of Forever, coupled with the intrinsic entertainment value of the piece itself, is probably reason enough to produce the property.  Couching the production within the context of the issue of creative ownership (conversations with Harlan Ellison and other artists who perceive their work to have been mishandled by others) might justify the production further.

I believe this to be quite an opportunity.  Given Star Trek’s place in popular culture, it is possible – perhaps even likely – that a CBC Radio production of Harlan Ellison’s City on the Edge of Forever could be nothing less than a cultural event.

Assorted Nonsense: The Podcast

April 10, 2020 / / 1 Comment
Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

One day in the not too distant future, when I have time, I might try my hand at a podcast. And when I do, it might turn out something like the script I’ve pasted below. I wrote this back around 2006 and actually produced a version of it a few years later with my buddy Matt Watts, but it never saw the light of day.

The mini-radio drama referenced near the end, Born of Man and Woman, was produced by my friend and colleague Barry Morgan for the third pilot we produced for Faster Than Light, but like that pilot, it was never aired, which is a shame, because Barry’s take on the story was actually quite good. Born of Man and Woman is a great little short story if you can get your hands on it, by Richard Matheson, author of What Dreams May Come and I am Legend. As for Barry Morgan, I really miss him. What a privilege it was to know a guy like that.

This script, you will see, is rather silly, but dammit there’s a place for silly in this world. Isn’t there?

ASSORTED NONSENSE

Episode #1

PART ONE

1. SFX:                                   SHUFFLING PAPERS, CHAIRS SQUEAKING

2. JOE: (STAGE WHISPER)  Play it. Play it!

3. MATT: (STAGE WHISPER) What? 

4. JOE: (STAGE WHISPER) The theme!

5. MATT: (STAGE WHISPER) Oh.  Which button…?

6. JOE: (STAGE WHISPER) Try the red one. (FREAKS OUT) NO! No, the green one.

7. SFX: CLICK!

8. THEME: ASSORTED NONSENSE THEME BG

9. MATT:                               Hi and welcome to Assorted Nonsense.  I’m Matt Watts…

10. JOE:                                  And I’m Joe Mahoney.  Welcome to Assorted Nonsense.

11. SFX: QUACK QUACK

12. MATT:                             Every edition of Assorted Nonsense is special, of course, but today’s show is extra special because not only will you hear the usual assorted nonsense…

13. JOE:                                  You’ll hear all sorts of extra goodies, just like on your favourite Star Wars DVD.

14. MATT:                             For instance, in today’s show we’ve included two scenes so poorly written and acted…

15. JOE:                                  So unbelievably awful…

16. MATT:                             That normally they would have been deleted.

17. JOE:                                  Without question.

18. MATT:                             Today we’ve kept them in.  Just like our bloopers.  During the making of every Athorted Nonsenthe… of every Athorted… oh for the love of –

19. SFX: BLEEP!

20. JOE:                                  You need to work on that lisp.

21. MATT:                             I need some water.  Can we do that again?

22. PRODUCER:                    (OVER TALKBACK) Pick it up at “During the making of.”

23. MATT:                             Okay. Ready?

24. JOE:                                  Go for it.

25. MATT:                             During the making of every Assorted Nonsense, Joe and I make plenty of mistakes.  Normally we edit them out.  Not today.

26. JOE:                                  Today we’re keeping them in.  And if you listen closely…

27. MATT:                             Really, really closely…

28. JOE:                                  You’ll hear a special commentary track in which Matt and I comment on the very show you’re listening to —

29. MATT:                             — while you’re listening to it. 

30. JOE:                                  How cool is that?

31. MATT:                             When the show’s finished, make sure you turn it over to hear a special behind-the-scenes making of featurette. 

32. MATT:                             And as an extra special bonus, today’s show is available in the following languages: 

33. JOE:                                  English.

34. MATT: Assorted Nonsense.  Radio that answers the burning question:

35. JOE AND MATT: (TREATED HARD RIGHT AND LEFT) What the heck?

36. THEME:                          UP AND OUT

PART TWO: CONSTRUCTION SITE

1. SFX: CONSTRUCTION, BULLDOZER IN DISTANCE

2. MATT:                               Hey Joe.  What’goin’ on?  What’s all this?

3. JOE:                                    Oh hey Matt.  I’m just building my own radio show, so I can be my own boss, do my own thing.  You know, the kind of show I’ve been talking about for like forever.

4. MATT:                               I’m sorry, did you say that you’re… building a radio show?

5. JOE:                                    Yeah, that’s right.  Once I get all the pieces.

6. MATT:                               Pieces?  Radio shows come in pieces?

7. JOE:                                    Of course.  You know… radio pieces.  Themes, hosts, music, stories… you know, radio stuff.

8. MATT:                               Huh.

9. JOE:                                    Only problem is this is one a them “do-it-yourself” radio shows.  I gotta figure out how ta bolt it all together.  For instance, getting this… sub-text in place…

6. SFX:                                   DRILL

7. JOE:                                    There.

7. SFX: BULLDOZER

8. MATT:                               Joe…

7. JOE: (EXCITED) Oh hey look, they’re bringing in the theme!  Ooh, this is very exciting.  Put it over there, boys! 

8. SFX: THEME SETS DOWN WITH A THUD

9. MUSIC:                             AS IT HAPPENS THEME

16. JOE:                                  Oh. Hmm, I dunno.  I didn’t order a current affairs theme. (OFF) Guys!  Guys!  You’re gonna have to take that theme back.  Can we get something a little less… Moe Koffman-y?

25. MUSIC: THEME DEPARTS WITH BULLDOZER

11. JOE:                                  Hand me those nails?  Thanks.

12. MATT:                             Joe you can’t just… build a radio show.

13. SFX:                                 HAMMERING

14. JOE:                                  I can’t?

15. MATT:                             No.

26. JOE:                                  Here, hold this while I tweak the focus.  Thanks.

27: SFX:                                 FOCUS TWEAKING

17. MATT:                             Have you thought this thing through?

18: JOE: (STRAINING) And now for the dramatic structure…

19. MATT:                             Do you have any idea –

18. SFX:                                 JACKHAMMER

19. MATT: (YELLING) Joe, Joe listen to me!  Do you have any idea how –

20. SFX: JACKHAMMER STOPS

21. MATT:                             (STILL YELLING) big a radio…? (SIGHS, LOWERS VOICE) How big a radio show can be? 

22. JOE: Whaddaya mean?

23. MATT:                             Where ya gonna put it? 

24. JOE:                                  It’s just little, only half an hour.  Fits anywhere.

25. MATT:                             You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, do you.  Joe… radio shows… radio shows are like cats.

26. JOE:                                  Cats?

27. MATT:                             You might even be allergic for all you know.

28. JOE:                                  I –

29. MATT:                             Do you have any idea what a radio show can do to your furniture?

30. JOE:                                  Uh —

31: MATT:                             You’re not thinking of having it declawed, are you?  ‘Cause if you are, then —

32. JOE:                                  (LIKE HE’S CRAZY) Matt, Matt.  It’s not a cat.  It’s a radio show.

33. MATT:                             (BEAT) Oh you are so wrong.  Cuz ya see Joe, a radio show is exactly like a cat.

34. JOE:                                  (LONG BEAT) Except for the fur, and the… head?

35. MATT:                             Joe, what’s the one thing that cats have more than any other creature on this planet?

36. JOE: Hairballs.

37. MATT: Attitude, Joe.  There ain’t no other creature on this planet with more attitude than a cat.  (BEAT) ‘Cept maybe a beaver but the point is that that’s what makes a cat tick.  Attitude.  For a radio show to really rock, it’s gotta have attitude. 

38. JOE:                                  Like a cat.

39. MATT:                             Or a beaver.

40. JOE:                                  And you know this because…

41. MATT:                             I used to have one.

42.  JOE:                                 A cat?

43.  MATT:                            (BEAT) A beaver.

44.  JOE:                                 Well I appreciate the advice Matt but I’m still gonna build my own radio show.  *Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna have to trim this item cause it’s already gone on way too long…

44. MUSIC: *START OVERBLOWN MUSIC BG

45. SFX: SAWING

45. MUSIC:                           FEATURE, THEN FADE BG

46. MATT: (OVERLY DRAMATIC)

And so Joe built his radio show.

He built it with his own bare hands.

He built it though it made no sense to do so. 

He built it out of spare parts left over from a misspent youth. 

He built a radio show fluent in four different languages, not a one of them spoken on Earth.

He coated it with a super special polymer material, able to withstand hurricane forces and the probing hands of small children.

He made his radio show sveglia impermeable.

He put little air holes in it so that he could breathe. 

He painted it bright orange with gigantic purple spots. 

Joe built a radio show the envy of the entire… that… some people could tune into if they wanted to. 

Joe built his radio show unaware that as he did so, elsewhere in the universe mysterious aliens plotted the fate of humanity:

PART THREE: STUDIO

1. SOUND:                             INTRO OF SHOW STARTS AGAIN

2. JOE:                                    Hi, I’m Joe.  I’m one of the people in the show that you’re listening to.

3. MATT:                               And I’m Matt, I act in the show, and I do the show’s laundry.

4. JOE:                                    As we promised a little earlier on, we’re about to do a commentary track for today’s show.  But just a commentary for the, uh, intro, the beginning of the show, because, uh…

5. MATT:                               Well the show hasn’t actually finished yet. So we can pretty much only comment on the beginning, maybe a bit of the middle, depending.

6. JOE:                                    Yeah, so here it is, this is the beginning of today’s show, which you would have heard only a few minutes ago.  I put it together late last week, if I recall, Thursday, I think, round suppertime, while eating a baloney, ah…

7. SOUND:                             SHOW PLAYS BG UNDER

8. MATT:                               So… was it you who wrote this?

9. JOE:                                    Yep.

10. MATT:                             I mean… it was you, wasn’t it?  That wrote the intro?  ‘Cause I don’t…

11. SOUND:                           BIT OF THE INTRO

12. JOE:                                  Uh huh.  Yeah.  I’d have to say that it was pretty much me, not sure what you were doing that day, playing Resident Evil or something, but… that’s the two of us reading it, though.

13. MATT:                             Yeah.

14. SOUND:                           A BIT OF THE INTRO

15. MATT:                             So were you a little pressed for time then, writing it, or…?

16. SOUND:                           A BIT OF THE INTRO

17. JOE: Whaddaya mean? 

18. MATT:                             Well it’s not very good, is it?

19. JOE:                                  You don’t think?

20. SOUND:                           BIT MORE OF SHOW

21. MATT:                             Have you heard it?

22. JOE:                                  Uh… well yeah.  Yeah, I mixed it, I put the whole thing together, so… yeah, I… you know I don’t even know where you were.

21.  MATT:                            There’s no need to get defensive.  I’m just saying that it could’ve been… better.

22. JOE:                                  Oh yeah?   Well how?  How could it’ve been better?

23. MATT:                             Well.  You know.

24. SOUND:                           BIT MORE OF THE SHOW

25. JOE:                                  No.  No I don’t know.  Why don’t you tell me?

26. SOUND:                           BIT MORE OF THE SHOW

27. MATT:                             Well you know if I’d written it.  I think if I’d written the intro it would’ve… you know… been better.

28.  SOUND: PARTICULARLY LAME PART OF THE SHOW

29. MATT:                             A lot better.  Wait… wait!

30. JOE:                                  What?

31. MATT:                             Shh!  This is my favourite part.

32. SOUND:                           EVEN MORE BANAL PART OF THE INTRO

33.  JOE:                                 I thought you said you didn’t like the intro.

34. MATT:                             What?  Oh, well I thought that I liked that one part, but… huh.

35. JOE:                                  What?

36. MATT: (DISMISSIVELY) Ah, it wasn’t as good as I thought it was.

37. SOUND:                           FEATURE INTRO

38. SOUND:                           TRANSITION

PART FOUR: SPECIAL FEATURE PRESENTATION

1. JOE: Time now for today’s Special Feature Presentation!

2. MUSIC:                                         TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX THEME

3. MATT: It’s at this point in the show that you might want to find someone or something to hold onto.

4. JOE: Why do you say that?

5. MATT: Well it’s just that I think that what we’re about to play represents a bit of a departure in tone.  You know, in the tone that I think you and I have worked so hard to establish in today’s show.

6. JOE: You mean the fact that what we’re about to play is not particularly funny.

7. MATT:                                           I mean the fact that it’s actually kind of good.

8. JOE: Oh yeah, yeah there is that. 

9. MATT: But you’re right, it’s not particularly funny either.  It’s actually kind of scary.

10. JOE: So you think this is a problem, then, this change in tone?

11. MATT: Well no, it’s just I just wouldn’t want any of our listeners to, you know, blow a gasket or something.  We’ve only got three.

12. JOE: Gaskets?

13. MATT: Listeners.

14. JOE: Ah, yes, yes this is true.  It is a well-known fact that if listeners are forced to switch too quickly from one kind of programming to another, they explode.

15. MATT: Very messy.

16. JOE: Yeah.  So, um, listeners, if you think there’s any chance at all that you might explode because of the rapid transition from sort of “funny” radio to sort of “serious” radio, you might wanna just… what.  Turn the radio off?

17. MATT: Well no, no, let’s not get carried away.  I think it would suffice if you just… you know, stood back from the radio a bit.  Probably a good idea to keep the volume down.  And then, as you get used to the change in programming, as you begin to feel more comfortable with it, then you can… try edging in a bit.  But slowly!  No sudden moves.  And if you feel like you might explode anyway, try not to do it on the carpet.

18. JOE: Perfect.  The last thing we need is one of our listeners exploding.

19. MATT: We’ve only got three.

20. JOE: And we have a responsibility to those three to keep them from exploding.

21. MATT: (WHISPER) It’s probably okay if one explodes.

22. JOE: Shh!  Okay, so without further ado here’s our special feature presentation, a little something called Born of Man and Woman.   

23. MATT: By Richard Matheson, produced by Barry Morgan.  Okay, play it.

24. JOE: Okay, ah… how do I…

25.MATT: The green button.  NO!  NO!  The red one.

26. SOUND: CLICK!

27. ITEM:       DRAMA “BORN OF MAN AND WOMAN”

  • IN:      …Door slam                                                            RUNS:  8’00” aprox 
  • OUT:  …Music

PART FIVE: THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE

1. JOE:                                    Born of Man and Woman, by Richard Matheson, adapted and produced for radio by Barry Morgan.

2. MATT: Featuring Wayne Robson, Ray Landry, and Sarah Orenstein.  A true story, based on Joe’s early childhood, if I’m not mistaken.

3. JOE:                                    (BEAT) I don’t wanna talk about it.

4. MATT:                               And that’s all she wrote, that’s our show for today.

5. THEME:                            UP AND UNDER

6. JOE:                                    For today’s show only the part of Matt Watts was played by Joe Mahoney. 

7. MATT:                               With the part of Joe Mahoney being played by Matt Watts. To complain about Assorted Nonsense, e-mail Assorted Nonsense Audience Relations at:

We have a team of operators standing by to receive your complaints.  Assorted Nonsense is written and produced by Joe Mahoney with Matt Watts.  See ya.

8. JOE:                                    Later.  

9. THEME: FEATURE, THEN DOWN FOR:

10. THEME:                          UP AND OUT

END

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