Writer, Broadcaster

Dead Dog Cafe Sound Effects…

Gracie Heavy Hand (Edna Rain), Thomas King (playing himself), Jasper Friendly Bear (Floyd Favel Starr), and Yours Truly (Joe Mahoney, playing the Foley guy)

Once upon a time I did sound effects for a CBC Radio show called Dead Dog Cafe. I wasn’t the only one who did sound effects for them, but when they came to Toronto, I became the guy, for a while. Just now, looking through some old files, I came upon a master list of the sound effects I required for a series of Dead Dog Cafe episodes.

Looking at some of them, I remember thinking at the time, how the heck am I going to come up with a sound for THAT? But somehow I did. Some I found on CD, which I played back from an old DaletPlus laptop, others I had to create from scratch and perform alongside the actors. Boy, those were the days!

So here, posted for posterity, is a list of all the crazy sound effects (and some music cues) required for that series of episodes:

Performing Sound Effects for the Dead Dog Cafe
  • Music to start the show.
  • Danger stab.
  • Music for Pithy Saying.
  • Drum beat
  • Shrill whistle from Gracie.
  • Computer amb
  • Fanfare
  • Music for when Money Doesn’t Matter.
  • Music for the Elimination Dance.
  • Dead dog in the city stab.
  • Music for Why Do They Do That?
  • Bull noises. Tom is trampled.
  • Music for New World News.
  • Music for Friendlybear’s Pithy Sayings.
  • Drum beat.
  • Opening bars of the Greek national anthem.
  • Music for Secrets of the Toronto Trapezoid.
  • Bull noises, Tom trampled.
  • Sound of starter rope being pulled. 
  • Sound of Tom hitting the floor.
  • Motor doesn’t catch.
  • More pulls, finally motor catches.
  • Motor sounds.
  • Engine does a putt-putt and dies.
  • Sound of rope yanked, Tom hits floor.
  • Motor sputters and dies.
  • Rope yank.  Motor starts.
  • Music for Aboriginal Wrestling. 
  • Animal noises and human cheering.
  • Cheers.
  • Cheers, crowd noises.
  • Music for the next match.
  • Porcupine noises [good luck].
  • Porcupine scratching its way out of a box.
  • Scrambling sounds.
  • More scrambling sounds.
  • Music to end the show.
  • Dogs barking.
  • Ballistic Eagle: internet trailer: (Music like Amazing Race only more military, yelling and shooting, sound of an explosion etc) Sound of bull, bull tramples Tom.
  • Dead Dog stab.
  • Music for the game show, “Trust Us.”
  • Crowd cheers.
  • Sound of a gong.
  • Meadow music.  Birds.  Running water.
  • Game show clock.
  • Music to end “Trust Us.”
  • Music for The Forum, and to end show
  • Sound of body hitting the floor.
  • Sound of a power sander.
  • Sound of an electric drill
  • Sound of glue bottle.
  • Squeaky steel post inserted into bellybutton.
  • Sound of colour wheel.
  • Sound of a spatula in a can of putty.
  • Sound of heavy trowel on concrete.
  • Sound of power sander.
  • Power sander across rough planks 5” then off.
  • Sound of alcohol hitting Tom’s body (splash).
  • Sound of a metal pole.
  • Sound of a drill.
  • Exertion, swinging noises (pole dance)
  • Music to end the show.
  • Electric polisher (polishing bellybutton)
  • Sound of running, door opens.
  • Moving travois
  • Sound for heavy metal hooks.
  • Music to start the show.
  • Asian music for Iron Chef First Nations.
  • Sound of a gong.
  • Buzzer.
  • Sound of a blow to upper thigh.
  • Music for “Affordable Vacations.”
  • Music for Making Money.
  • Flapping of wings and banging box noises.
  • Sound of a pigeon. 
  • Public Eye Awards for 2006 fanfare.
  • Announcement music.
  • Loud applause.
  • This Week in the House music.
  • Music for Iron Chef, First Nations.
  • Clock music.
  • Music for the Urban Cowboy Rodeo.
  • Sound of chain mail gloves.
  • Sound of chain mail chaps.
  • Sound of a heavy cage being slid across the floor and the grumbling of a large raccoon.
  • Grumpy raccoon.
  • Really angry raccoon.
  • More screaming, grumpy raccoon, and running.
  • Music to end the show.
  • Sound of chickens.
  • The End of Nature funeral music.
  • Sound of a spray can.
  • Sound of drum.
  • Taped lead out of Kicking Woman Honor song.
  • Music for The Quote of the Day.
  • Sound of door opening. 
  • Door closes.
  • Sound of a very large bottle hitting the counter.
  • Sound of a cap being pried off a bottle. 
  • Sound of a window opening.
  • Sound of tape recorder.
  • Sound of coffee being poured into three cups.
  • Sound of the large bottle.
  • Sound of liquid being poured into a glass.
  • Sound of zipper.
  • Sound of tester.
  • Sound of paper.
  • Sound of a tape recorder.
  • Sound of a business card.
  • Sound of money hitting the counter.
  • Sound of paper.
  • Sound of pages.
  • Sound of a heavy gun being slid across the counter.
  • Sound of a book.
  • Sound of a tiny stick hitting the floor.
  • Sound of two really heavy sticks hitting the floor.
  • Sound of potato rolling on the floor. 
  • Sound of stick hitting potato. 
  • Sound of spud.
  • Sound of paper in a box.
  • Sound of a magazine.
  • Stick hitting Tom.
  • Sound of pills.
  • Sound of Jasper going through his pockets.
  • Sound of tester.
  • Sound of umbrellas.
  • Sound of a chair.
  • Sound of a rope being whacked on the floor.
  • Tom hitting the floor, chair flying across the room.
  • Sound of a t-shirt being taken out of a box.
  • Sound of Jasper getting into a lounge suit.
  • Sound of microphone being turned on.
  • Microphone turned off.
  • Click sound.
  • Sound of pillow being taken out of a bag.
  • Sound of a squeeze.
  • Sound of a tight squeeze.
  • Sound of keys and coins and junk from Jasper’s pockets.
  • Sound of keys and coins, etc, coming out of Gracie’s pocket.
  • Sound of a few coins and the sound of a wad of paper money.
  • Sound of coins being slid across the counter.
  • Sound of paper money being counted.
  • Coin sound.
  • Sound of coins and paper money being scooped up.
  • Sound of a very large certificate (poster).
  • Sound of Tom jumping.
  • Sound of a manual.  Pages.
  • Sound of a cash register being lifted.
  • Sound of cash register landing in Tom’s arms.
  • Sound of the cash register hitting the floor.
  • Sound of register hitting the counter.
  • Sound of a large machine being moved around. 
  • Sound of velcro straps.
  • Sound of switch being turned off.
  • Sound of Tom getting out of the harness.
  • Sound of Tom taking off the lederhosen exercise suit.
  • Sound of scale models of weapons.
  • Sound of a bow being unwrapped.
  • Sound of spoons on the counter, and several spoons clinking
  • Sound of a spoon bouncing off Tom.
  • Another spoon off Tom X 4
  • Sound of forks.
  • Sound of Kraft Dinner box.
  • Sound of a box.
  • Sound of phone being dialed.
  • Phone hang up.
  • A can of Coca-Cola hits the counter.
  • Sound of a bottle (toilet cleaner).
  • Sound of a bottle (blood cleaner).
  • Sound of the Mp3 player being whacked.
  • Sound of turnips and carrots and ginger hitting the counter.
  • Sound of a turnip on a board.
  • Sound of Tom trying to smash the turnip.
  • Sound of Tom’s hand hitting the carrot.
  • Sound of a large piece of ginger being put of the board.
  • Sound of cards in a box.
  • Sound of Jasper sorting through the cards.
  • Sound of newspapers in box.
  • Sound of a calculator.
  • Sound of brochures.
  • Sound of phone answered.
  • Sound of wrappers.
  • Sound of plunger.
  • Sound of a package on the counter.
  • Sound of brochures.
  • Sound of a large decal.
  • Door bangs open and shut.
  • Sound of two deodorant sticks.
  • Sound of underwear.
  • Sound of a phone being dialed.
  • Sound of a box being opened.
  • Sound of tape recorder.
  • Sound of a fountain being moved.
  • Sound of $1.25 going into machine.
  • Sound of a DVD player.
  • Sound of DVD being turned off.
  • Music to end the show.

More Dead Dog Cafe adventures here.

Jasper Friendly Bear (Floyd Favel Starr), Gracie Heavy Hand (Edna Rain), Thomas King (playing himself), and Portia Jumpingbull (Tara Beagan) of the Dead Dog Cafe


  1. Chris Cutress

    Ahhhhh … Those were the days. Sounds like you had one of the easier episodes. (wink and a smile).

  2. ilanderz

    Hah… easy for someone else, maybe! 🙂

  3. Claire

    Very curious as to how deodorant sticks sounds like! 🙂

  4. ilanderz

    Not unlike the sound of underwear!

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